time for change

I have now moved back home! My time at Robert Tressell Halls and room 203 has come to an end and I feel very emotional about it. That whole experience was one I will never forget. I will miss a lot about living in Halls, especially always having someone about. Wherever you went, you'd never be alone. Even walking into the kitchen, you're bound to see someone. I loved that. Because at the same time as this, you could still have your own space in the privacy and comfort of your own room. I wish I appreciated that a little more whilst being there. Towards the end of my time at Halls I was so sick of being by myself, and to survive Halls, you have to enjoy your own company. Towards the end I was extremely reliant on my friends for company, as splitting up with my ex boyfriend meant time alone was time to over think the situation and work myself up, which is never healthy. So the last few weeks I was always with someone. So it's really weird to now be back home and not have that. Obviously I have my family here but it's not really the same. I have friends close too but not close enough. I also have to adapt to having some sort of a sleeping pattern again as well, which is unusual as we're usually up till whatever o'clock in Halls either drinking, chatting or playing games.

As much as I'm happy to be at home, I don't think I'm quite ready to be back yet. I still feel very low from my recent break up so being by myself is by no means fun and I don't appreciate everyone sleeping before me. As well as this, I've had to move everything I own into half a bedroom. Yes, half. I share my room with my 6-year-old sister. The decision for me to move out of my room came as I got accepted into Uni. I don't really mind sharing my room with her because as anyone will know, she means the absolute world to me but bloody hell, it is annoying! Everything I possess has now been crammed into the smallest storage space and it will be this way for a good 4 months, as that's how long I'll be back for. The fact I'll be back for that long does scare me, I'm not a fan of change. I'm scared about having so much time for myself. I'm just hoping it will do me some good as I am sick of feeling this way over a guy, it is pathetic. And I know it is. Yet I can't help it. I'm just waiting for time to do its healing I guess. (Hurry up please!)

Hope you all have lovely Summers! X

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I want to write about you

I want to write. I want to write about you, about us. My mind is so busy, my heart is so full and yet the words won't come out how I want them to. I want to do our love justice.  Heartbreak. I honestly believe this is the hardest thing I have ever been through and the most significant event in my life so far. And the pain - the pain is so real. I feel this empty void in the space where you used to be. Sounds so dramatic but the complete and utter numbness you've left is unbearable.  When you go through a break up, you think you'll know what to expect. I've been through it all before and I don't doubt i'll go through it again. It gets worse every time. Each time a little more of you gets taken away, each time you become a little more vulnerable and your walls go up a little higher.  When we were together, I used to imagine being without you but you can never emotionally prepare yourself for it until it actually happens, and of course you never imagine ...
Read more

The art of carrying on

This blog post isn't about anything in particular as such, but I just had one of those moments of realisation as I was packing all of my room away ready for the Summer that awaits me. I realised that sometimes carrying on is the most important thing to do, simply just carrying on. You may be thinking, "what on earth is she on about" or even "well, of course it's important to carry on!" but I realised that this really can be the answer to anything. This year has tested me more than any other. I've been thrown curve balls that no one should have to deal with. As well as this, there is the stress of work, which ultimately everyone has to deal with at some stage in their lives. This whole Uni experience has been a massive learning curve, naturally. But also aside from academic work also comes my own personal achievements. Although I am not yet the person I want to be, or even the person I was, I am still learning. And I think that alone is amazing. That ever...
Read more

Disclaimer: I am not an expert in heartbreak

Hey! So, the other day I read through some of my older posts and realised that a lot of them are about my ex (too many of them)- that was by no means my intention but it just so happens that a lot of what I want to say and a great deal of what I have learnt recently is because of that break up, I thought I should clarify that. I think it's wrong of people to say you shouldn't post about a certain topic.. Who are you to tell me what I can and can't publish? If it helps me then who are you to tell me to stop doing that? And now, amazingly, not only is it helping me but other people too. It's like if I was to post a picture of myself naked (besides the fact I wouldn't do that.. TT's on Tumblr don't count..), say, because I was having a "good body day", should people not see that and think "good on you!" (okay, admittedly at first you'd be like, what.. but you have to commend them on their bravery) because even if it seems effortless for ...
Read more