The art of carrying on

This blog post isn't about anything in particular as such, but I just had one of those moments of realisation as I was packing all of my room away ready for the Summer that awaits me. I realised that sometimes carrying on is the most important thing to do, simply just carrying on. You may be thinking, "what on earth is she on about" or even "well, of course it's important to carry on!" but I realised that this really can be the answer to anything. This year has tested me more than any other. I've been thrown curve balls that no one should have to deal with. As well as this, there is the stress of work, which ultimately everyone has to deal with at some stage in their lives. This whole Uni experience has been a massive learning curve, naturally. But also aside from academic work also comes my own personal achievements. Although I am not yet the person I want to be, or even the person I was, I am still learning. And I think that alone is amazing. That everything you do, whether you know about it or not, is a learning curve.
Recently my ex boyfriend (Mr. Undecided from a latest blog post) split up with me, at the time it feels like the worst thing in the world. Like your world has just come crashing at your feet. How can someone who is meant to 'love' and 'care' about you be so quick to leave you? After everything you've been through? All the memories you've shared? The plans you've made? Or are yet to make? I've honestly been asking myself these questions repeatedly and I am still yet to find my answers. But  I have realised, maybe there are no answers. Maybe that is just that. Sometimes things don't have an answer. They just might not work out how you want them to. I've been through heartache before and I know I can do it again. You just have to carry on. I'm not trying to make this all dramatic and poetic because there's really nothing poetic about it, it's shit but through carrying on, I've realised I no longer have to wait around for someone who no longer sees my worth, I have also realised I have the best friends anyone could ever ask for and the best family, too. And I will carry on as I am, finding myself again along the way. And that will be good enough for me if not for a guy! :-) x

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