Surrogacy
My Mother is a very strong woman but just recently I was reminded of this even more. Eight whole years ago she blessed a couple with an irreplaceable gift- the gift of life. My Mother signed up and joined an agency called C.O.T.S (Childlessness Overcome Through Surrogacy), it was just something she had always wanted to do and I admire her so much for actually doing it. I was pretty young at this time but definitely remember finding the whole process exceptionally strange. I remember comparing it to something like 'Blind Date' as letters would come through the door fairly often with a profile of a couple, it would state information of theirs from whether they live with pets to if they smoke or not. It was our job as a family to pick out a couple that we "liked the look of" in terms of whether or not we felt they would make good parents for this future child. It was a hard process, naturally, because we had the power to change a couples lives- it's not something you can decide over night. There was so much to consider.
We finally decided on a couple from Wales. Upon accepting them, we were invited to their house to see the sort of place they live in and get to know them as a couple, there's really only so much you can know about someone through a piece of paper. Anyone that knows me will know that my stories can sometimes.. Lag. I've had the nickname "Chloé long story" in my family for as long as I can remember. Well, staying true to my name, I somehow managed to tell a story which lasted the whole journey from Ipswich to Wales (I wish I was exaggerating). The time spent with the couple was lovely, I can briefly remember the house being a bit gross as it was covered in dog hairs but we overlooked that, you can hardly determine whether a couple are fit to have a child based on how many dog hairs they have in their house. They seemed like a really nice couple and I remember eating lots of Salami over our stay. We decided to try it out with them and my Mother had missed a period. Amazing! We thought. To our surprise, one evening there was a knock on the door. It was Amanda, the woman my Mother was hopefully having a child for. She was really sad and explained that her and her husband were no longer going to stay together. Perfect timing. I guess the stress was too much for them to cope with as a couple and they later split up. Thankfully my Mother got her period and we continued the search.
In a way I'm so glad that happened, as terrifying as it was even at my young age. The possibility that my Mother could have been carrying another mans child was unnerving. I guess I should explain here the question I always get asked.. The type of Surrogacy that my Mother went through was with the use of her eggs and the mans sperm. So in laymans terms, my Mother is the biological Mother and the man from the couple is the biological Father. But had that not ever happened, we would never have found Joanne and Mark, the most perfect couple that my Mother did end up having a child for. Edward Charles Ellison was born on the 6th of the 6th, 2006. I know what you're thinking! But he's not the devils child, don't worry.
That was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. God knows how my Mother ever did it. When Edward was in my Mothers tummy, I would be lying if I said I didn't get attached. That was my brother, you know? Just as much part of me as it was them. I always used to speak to Edward, read him stories and put maltesers on top for him to kick. Shortly after Edward was born he was given to Joanne and Mark. Joanne was there throughout the whole birth, even though she's pretty squeamish. They make the best parents and we are so lucky, most surrogate parents do not have any contact with their surrogate children afterwards but we keep in quite regular contact with them all and get sent pictures often enough. Sometimes I will go years without seeing him but this year I've seen him twice already and I'm so grateful for that. They are the nicest people you will ever meet, I can't believe how lucky we were to have found them. We saw them all just recently and it was the happiest I've been in a long time.
My Mother is so strong and sometimes I do not give her enough credit for that. After it all happened, I found it really hard to talk to her which was really wrong of me, I said some things I deeply regret and you will never be able to take back words once they've been said. My Mother has been through hell and back in her life and she continues to do her very best for us all and it's not easy, I do understand that. So, thank you mama bear. X
We finally decided on a couple from Wales. Upon accepting them, we were invited to their house to see the sort of place they live in and get to know them as a couple, there's really only so much you can know about someone through a piece of paper. Anyone that knows me will know that my stories can sometimes.. Lag. I've had the nickname "Chloé long story" in my family for as long as I can remember. Well, staying true to my name, I somehow managed to tell a story which lasted the whole journey from Ipswich to Wales (I wish I was exaggerating). The time spent with the couple was lovely, I can briefly remember the house being a bit gross as it was covered in dog hairs but we overlooked that, you can hardly determine whether a couple are fit to have a child based on how many dog hairs they have in their house. They seemed like a really nice couple and I remember eating lots of Salami over our stay. We decided to try it out with them and my Mother had missed a period. Amazing! We thought. To our surprise, one evening there was a knock on the door. It was Amanda, the woman my Mother was hopefully having a child for. She was really sad and explained that her and her husband were no longer going to stay together. Perfect timing. I guess the stress was too much for them to cope with as a couple and they later split up. Thankfully my Mother got her period and we continued the search.
In a way I'm so glad that happened, as terrifying as it was even at my young age. The possibility that my Mother could have been carrying another mans child was unnerving. I guess I should explain here the question I always get asked.. The type of Surrogacy that my Mother went through was with the use of her eggs and the mans sperm. So in laymans terms, my Mother is the biological Mother and the man from the couple is the biological Father. But had that not ever happened, we would never have found Joanne and Mark, the most perfect couple that my Mother did end up having a child for. Edward Charles Ellison was born on the 6th of the 6th, 2006. I know what you're thinking! But he's not the devils child, don't worry.
That was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. God knows how my Mother ever did it. When Edward was in my Mothers tummy, I would be lying if I said I didn't get attached. That was my brother, you know? Just as much part of me as it was them. I always used to speak to Edward, read him stories and put maltesers on top for him to kick. Shortly after Edward was born he was given to Joanne and Mark. Joanne was there throughout the whole birth, even though she's pretty squeamish. They make the best parents and we are so lucky, most surrogate parents do not have any contact with their surrogate children afterwards but we keep in quite regular contact with them all and get sent pictures often enough. Sometimes I will go years without seeing him but this year I've seen him twice already and I'm so grateful for that. They are the nicest people you will ever meet, I can't believe how lucky we were to have found them. We saw them all just recently and it was the happiest I've been in a long time.
My Mother is so strong and sometimes I do not give her enough credit for that. After it all happened, I found it really hard to talk to her which was really wrong of me, I said some things I deeply regret and you will never be able to take back words once they've been said. My Mother has been through hell and back in her life and she continues to do her very best for us all and it's not easy, I do understand that. So, thank you mama bear. X
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